


I Want To Hold Your Hand (Please just kiss me oh my god)

by Waste_Of_Breath



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Again, M/M, Song Lyrics, awkward teen shit, i'm sorry it's three am, whispers "gayyyyyyy", wow john
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-14
Updated: 2012-07-14
Packaged: 2017-11-09 22:35:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/459244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Waste_Of_Breath/pseuds/Waste_Of_Breath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John is a major homo gay for Karkat and doesn't know how to tell him.  So he borrows one of Jade's guitars and sings him some lyrics. </p><p> </p><p>(if you don't know the song from just looking at the title i am disappoint)</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Want To Hold Your Hand (Please just kiss me oh my god)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm being seriously if you don't know the title of the song I'm disappoint  
> very disappoint  
> well it's three am again  
> guess what time that means  
> fanfic time  
> well at least fanfic posting time
> 
> so this is for the 30 day otp challenge on tumblr (psst if you want to follow me my url's http://cutie-patoots.tumblr.com thank) and this is the first day so this prompt is
> 
> Day 1 - Holding Hands  
> this was a good excuse  
> i'm too lazy and not talented enough to draw so i decided to write this instead so  
> here you go

Your name is John, and you are going to serenade the fuck out of Karkat and hopefully he'll understand your message. That you're basically a huge gay for him. Well maybe not those exact words but whatever, that's not the point. The point is however is no matter how many songs it takes for him to actually listen, you're going to serenade him and maybe have a boyfriend? Maybe. That is, if you actually get the guts to ask him instead of singing lyrics.

You've kind of been bros for a while now, and you're pretty damn sure you've been kind of obviously hinting that you like him as more than a bro. For a while you were convinced that these feelings were normal bro feelings and were 100% convinced that you were as straight as can be. That little dream or whatever was crushed when you realized that you've been denying your actual sexuality because you thought your dad would flip. It's not like you and your dad talked about gays much, in fact, you wouldn't have known what the fuck being gay was if it weren't for people at school talking and you finally asking Rose about it. She explained it, and quite thoroughly and at the time it was too much information thank you very much. You swore your dad would be so disappointed in you, he had talked about when you got married to some pretty girl and had kids and what you would name them and that whole shibang.

You've come to realize that these feelings weren't normal bro feelings when you had a dream about being married to Karkat and kissed him and you two were so happy and you adopted a little bunny and named it Liv and everything was so fantastic. You had your happy little family and nothing could stop you. That kind of made you realize that you actually may like Karkat and may want to marry him. Also that you want to adopt a bunny and name it Liv. What a good bunny.

A little time after that, you've come to realize that girls really weren't your thing. They've lost the appeal to you and you were kind of scared. You were gay and you knew it for the first time. Finding all this stuff out when you've told everyone that you're straight as a pin and not knowing how all your friends and your dad would react to you coming out was scary! A little bit over a year later after the dream you had, you came out of the closet you guess. You dad fully accepted it and told you how proud he was of you, hugging you and you were crying. You told your friends that same day and they also embraced it and you. You were crying again. A lot of crying went down that day. But that was about two years ago now.

So today is the day you are going to serenade him. You know you aren't the best singer and that you're pretty much tone death, but that doesn't matter. You two actually sing together a lot. You also dance in the living room of your house a lot too, but let's get back to this singing thing you're about to do. You were kind of nervous, for the past few days every time you even think about Karkat you're stomach fills with butterflies and you're just so happy when you're with him. He's so cute. Just everything about him makes you happy. His chubby cheeks, his nubby horns, the way he laughs, just everything and anything about him makes you smile to yourself.

You two are currently sitting in the grass of some random fucking field sort of outside the city you live in. It's really nice here and this is where you two spend a lot of time. It's really pretty and calm and no big commotion and hardly any people. You sometimes heard the bustling noise of cars going by but other than that you could only hear some animals scurrying off in the trees behind you and the breeze. It was late spring, the air was mild, the grass was green and the trees' leaves have returned. It was literally the perfect day too, white, fluffy clouds about, the sun out and the air cool, but not too cool for you two to bother with a jacket.

You two haven't even said anything yet, you were enjoying a comfortable silence, just enjoying the outside. You had borrowed one of Jade's guitars, the acoustic one since, you know, you didn't have anything for an electric guitar to plug into since you two were outside. Karkat found it strange but shrugged it off. He's seen stranger things. He once saw Dave jacking off to curry. That was a traumatizing time for him and he still hasn't recovered from it. You don't even have an explanation for that. You would say it was for irony sake but you're not even sure what irony IS anymore. Your sense of irony has been twisted to the point of “god damn it boy I ain't twistin' no more” and then walks away. You shake that thought away and go back to what you were going to do. You're going to do it. You are going to serenade Karkat. Annnnnnnd maybe if you're up to it, ask him out. You're still ironing out the details. These details are so wrinkly you need at least like, 10 more of you to get rid of all these wrinkles. Not all details are going to survive. You can't iron worth shit. Poor details, we will pray for you.

“ John, why the fuck did you even bring the guitar? Don't tell me we are going to make up some really dumb song about, oh I don't know, you're beaver teeth?” Karkat asked, rolling his eyes as you pick up the guitar. You strum it lightly to see if it's on key. Jade actually taught you how to play guitar and taught you some songs too. One of these said songs you are going to sing to Karkat.

You chuckle, giving him a toothy grin with your new braces and nudging him with your elbow. He laughs lightly as well and it's so great to make him smile His smile is literally the cutest smile you've ever seen. He has braces as well, he's had him for a while now and you have to kind of wonder if he's ever going to get them taken off. You two got matching bands or whatever they were called, both being red and blue.

“ No, I'm going to do something special,” You say, starting to play the song. Not only was it The Beatles, but it was your favorite Beatles song. Karkat went silent as he heard you start playing guitar. He was fascinated when you played instruments. You could play the piano way better though.

You let the beginning bit with the guitar go a little longer than it should because right now you can't form any words. When you can feel like you can actually sing, you do. “ Oh yeah I, tell you somethin', I think you'll understand, when I, say that somethin', I want to hold your hand, I want to hold your hand, I want to hold your hand,” you start, sometimes you can feel your voice crack but whatever. You can just feel Karkat is smiling slightly, you don't even need to look but you do. You lean onto his shoulder and smile, continuing to sing. You can feel the tension release as you're feeling more comfortable. “ And please, say to me, you'll let me be your man, and please, say to me, you'll let me hold your hand, you'll let me hold your hand, I want to hold your hand,” you sing. Your favorite part was next, oh man you were actually doing this this is a thing that was happening. “ And when I touch you,” you kiss his nose, which receives a hand pushing you away.  “ I feel happy, inside, it's such a feeling that my love, I can't hide, I can't hide, I can't hide. Yeah you, you've got that somethin', I think you'll understand, when I say that somethin', I want to hold your hand, I want to hold your hand, I want to hold your hand. And when I touch you I feel happy, inside, it's such a feeling that my love, I can't hide, I can't hide, I can't hide. Yeah you, you got that somethin', I think you'll understand, when I feel that somethin', I want to hold your hand, I want to hold your hand, I want to hold your hand,” you finish, strumming the last few notes of the song. Wow you did it. You look at Karkat, waiting to see if he will respond. He opens, his mouth, looks to the ground, closes his mouth, it's back open again. You don't know if this is a good response or not. You're setting on the latter and frown a little. Oh, he's looking up again, staring straight into your eyes. Oh man oh god you don't know if you should look away or not. He has a look of confusion on his face. That can't be a good.

“ John, I am getting mixed signals here,” Karkat managed to muster out, the look of confusion still planted on his face. It's like that one Spongebob Episode where Spongebob and Patrick are pretending to be superheros and are playing with the orb of confusion and then that guy takes off his mask head thing and just leaves. Well maybe not that confused but still he's pretty confused.

You're not too sure how to answer this without basically screaming “I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU OKAY HAVE SEX WITH ME” because that would be really awkward. You've thought about being that direct before, but you've seen some stuff go down like this and sometimes it's not pretty. Like that one time Dave was so horny that he literally said to Terezi “ Fuck me sideways on a table please I'm so horny I'm going to cry,” and then proceeded to cry. They did leave the room and went to Dave's place though, so Terezi probably did fuck him sideways on a table. Everyone was there and saw it. Even your dad. Your dad then asked “ Are you that horny?” and then you choked on your kool-aid. That was a fun night.

You finally just chuckle again. When in doubt, chuckle. That's one of your thousands of philosophies. “ Okay this might sound weird when I try to explain this, okay? It's going to be pretty blackmailable stuff too so keep that in mind,” you finally managed to say. You wanted to go down the direct route. It felt like such a good idea. It was the worst idea.

“ John, every little piece of shit that comes out of your mouth is practically blackmailable,” Karkat added, rolling his eyes and a small laugh coming out. You grin crookedly, closing your eyes for a second to think. What the fuck are you going to say? It's not like this shit was easy, by any stretch of the mind. This is like playing Rainbow Road on Mario Kart Wii. This is like playing The Impossible Game. Now how many more references to impossible shit do you need to go through?

“ Okay no seriously listen I um, I'm probably going to sound like more of an idiot than I usually do, because this has to do with you and oh my god how do I even do this, how do people in those stupid rom-coms do this?” you rambled, before you even knew you said it out loud. You're silently kicking youself. God damn it.

“ John are you trying to pour your heart out to me,” Karkat stated. It was sort of like a question but not? It was one of those weird things. There's a lot of weird things.

“ Okay maybe I am I just, I really like you and I have for like three years not like the all “ahaha bros 4 lyfe” bullshit but the “please I want to marry you” bullshit. My feelings are doing weird things Karkat and these feelings are all somehow jumbled up and pointing to you,” you rambled some more, running your hands through your thick black locks. Damn was your hair soft. You have more pressing matters than to admire your hair Egbert like you just kind of spilled the beans all over the table and now they are dripping on the floor and into your soul. Clean up on Aisle Feelings, please.

“ You're making no fucking sense. There are a lot of things in life that don't make sense, but everything you're saying right now is making the least amount of sense. It's at negative 60 sense right now,” Karkat glared at you. This wasn't going as planned. At all. This wasn't even thought out this was just sort of a last minute thing.

“ I'm sorry, just, did you listen to the lyrics of the song I just poured my soul out into?” you ask, hoping he did at least do that. If he didn't, then that whole thing was for nothing.

“ Yes John. I listened to every fucking note and I could probably recite the whole song back to you backwards,” Karkat answered, glancing at your tapping fingers. You tend to fidget when you're nervous or something. Your shoulders lose tension.

“ Every word I sang basically describes my feelings for you. I want to hold your hand, and I want to be romantic and kiss you on the cheek and be your man, okay? That's the best way to describe this shit, I guess,” you explain, shrugging your shoulders. You can't stand to look in his eyes right now. You look at the ground beneath you. Wow this grass has suddenly just became very interesting. How are you, Mr. Grass Blade? How's the wife and kids doing? Earth to John, do you read me, Earth to fucking John!!!

Karkat said nothing, letting out a nearly silent sigh but still loud enough to hear him. Trolls tend to take shorter breaths than humans, you noticed overtime. You fidget with your hands a bit more, letting a somewhat more awkward silence fall between you two. Okay the silence is so awkward it's even more awkward than the time you walked into Dave's apartment singing Poker Face into a hairbrush in hot pink underpants with sparkly neon letters that spelled out SWAGGA. And his socks. Can't forget the socks. Okay so Dave's just a ball of awkward.

You don't even want to say anything. You just want to die right now. You let your hands fall to your sides, taking a huge breath in and out. Maybe you should say something. Maybe you should – Karkat just took your hand in his. This is a thing that's happening oh my god. How do you even react. You're the one with the confused look this time, just glancing at him. Karkat just started nodding, and grinning. It was so rare to see a full grin on his face. God was he just the most precious thing to grace the earth ever.

“ You could of asked me out like a normal person, John. You know that, right?” Karkat asked, bumping into your side, not letting go of your hand. Your confused look turns into an expression of glee in the matter of seconds. He just accepted didn't he? Oh my god he did. He really accepted.

“ We're not ordinary people though,” you say, playfully bumping him back. You're both sent into a fit of giggles and soon your just lying side by side, limbs tangled in each together and your hands never leaving each other grasps.

**Author's Note:**

> fuck i put it under f/m at first??? at least i caught it


End file.
